The Real Reason You Quit Those New Year Goals.
Baylor College of Medicine reports that 88% of people who set New Year Resolutions fail before the end of January. In fact, the second Friday of January is even known as “quitters day” because of this statistic. Who knew?
My question to you is - are you going to let this be you? You set those intentions with purpose, so I know you want them. In order to not be part of the 88%, let’s take a look at what might be holding you back from proceeding with achieving your goals.
Before You Read Further.
You need to know that you might not like everything that you read in this article. It might sting a little. Are you going to let it ruffle your feathers, or are you willing to take in the information objectively and see how you can enhance your own game? Here’s the truth:
You’re sabotaging yourself.
Ouch. Stings right? There’s nothing more humbling than realizing that you have been the one holding yourself back this whole time. The good news is that you can decide right now to change your trajectory by getting clear on your desires & understanding your self sabotaging habits.
So how might you be sabotaging yourself?
1 —
You’re afraid of success.
“Wait, what?! That’s crazy!” is it? The thing is, you have been comfortably plugging along in your current lifestyle and routines for what is probably years by now. You have mastered your current world, and you have learned how to navigate anything that might come your way within it. When you start to disrupt this normalcy by taking on a new goal, you’re essentially committing to changing your identity - and that freaks out your nervous system. Your nervous system starts to ask “what do I have to do in order to achieve this,” “who do i have to become,” “what do i have to give up,” and “what is required to maintain it afterward? What will life be like then?” Since you haven’t fully grown into that new version of you - your current self doesn’t know how to navigate the future and freaks out.
Solution: Instead of allowing your mind to wander into a spiral of fear and negative thoughts, train your brain to focus on what you GAIN by following through with this goal. It is likely things like improved habits, improved routines, better health, happier relationships, self confidence, and so much more. Train your mind to think about how EXCITING will be and how GOOD you will feel when you achieve that goal.
2 —
You’re afraid of failure.
Yep, you could be afraid of failure too. No one likes failure or rejection.
A lot of times, people start chasing a goal with good intentions, but soon after start to convince themselves that they are not the kind of person who achieves that goal. Instead of pushing forward, they choose to either not start or quit early, out of fear of not being able to actually achieve the goal, and potentially being rejected/shamed by others - or shamed by themselves.
Solution: Change your relationship with failure. Failure means you pushed yourself. You found your outer limit, and you successfully got yourself out of your comfort zone. Little failures are stepping stones and learning blocks on the way to the end goal. It’s part of the process. Tell yourself up front that failure is normal, that you will likely not be perfect, and the process won’t be perfect. Choose to objectively analyze your progress each day/week/month with the intention of improving the next day/week/month, and choose to not make it mean anything about your self worth.
3 —
You’re afraid of being a beginner.
When you’re a skilled expert in your current realm, why would you want to start over and be the beginner in something? Being a beginner can be scary because it means branching out into unfamiliar territory, stumbling while figuring new things out, and it comes with a fear of looking silly in front of other people, or being made fun of. It’s okay that this fear comes up - but are you really going to let it hold you back?
Solution: Tell yourself up front that this is something brand new for you. Set the expectation that you might feel scared and you might fumble around for a while, but it’s totally normal. Remind yourself that you have the ability to learn the skills necessary to embrace that new goal, and the ability to re-start every single day. Remind yourself that you’re allowed to be a beginner.
4 —
You’re making excuses.
Another way that we talk ourselves out of chasing our goals. What excuses are you making? You don’t have time, you don’t know how, it’s just too hard? What excuses are you making? What is the real reason why you are holding yourself back?
Solution: Do some deeper work to better understand why you are making excuses and keeping yourself from the very thing you intentionally wanted to achieve for yourself. No one else made this commitment for you - you CHOSE it. So I know you want it. Quit talking yourself out of it. Identify solutions to those excuses instead. You get to win.
Once you do the work to better understand the fears and hesitations that come up in pursuit of a new goal, you can choose to dismantle the limiting beliefs & make a game plan to overcome the fears, learn the skills, and employ the strategies that will keep you on track with the goal. If you really want it, give yourself daily, weekly, and monthly guide posts and check in’s to keep you on track. Ask yourself what held you back this week, how you can remove those blocks for the next week, and how you can better prepare yourself for the week ahead.
How I Can Help.
If you’d like help setting goals and dismantling roadblocks along the way, or if you’re interesting achieving a health, nutrition, body transformation, or time management goal, there are many ways I can support you through 1:1 coaching, group coaching offers, and exclusive mentorships. Let this be the year you go all in on yourself & your goals. I’m here to help.